第85节

  【】d.shefeltlost.herbestfrienduldnteveandher.ybeshead.ybesheshouldbeerryalready.ybethatsalpeopledideshethoughtsheshouldhaveboughttherulebookforifrievingilyandfriends.

  herusthaveheardeverythingshedsaidasoearrassedsheforatissue.herheadallhertears.sheearyfatheendofhershirt.

  “**”shesepapersoffherdeskassherealizedshehadsdgedfoundation,scaraandlipstickallalongthesleeveofherspensiveeshirt.shesatuptoattentionassheheardalightrappingsoundonherdoor.

  “ein,”hervoiceshook.

  chrisenteredherofficehteainhishands.

  “tea”heoffered,raisinghiseyebroiledeeringthejoketheyhadsharedonthedayofherintervieugdoofherandrelaxedinthechairopposite.

  “havingabadday”heaskedasgentlyashisgruffvoiceuld.

  sheearsrolleddosorry,chris.”sheposeherself.“itywork,”shesaidshakily.

  heissively.“holly,iotthat,yreatworker.”

  shesled,gratefulfortheplint.atleastsheethingright.

  “eearly”

  “nothanks,yndoffthings.”

  heshookhisheadsadly.“thatsnottheyselfihesedoeshings.notinthelongrunanyway.”

  “butyouseeappy,”hervoicetreled.

  “seengandbeiohesa.iknohat.”

  shenoddedsadly.

  “youdonthavetoputonabravefacealltheti,youknoissue.

  “oh,iotbraveatall.”sheblewheose.

  “everhearthesayingthatyouobescaredtobebrave”

  hollythoughtaboutthat.“butidontfeelbrave,ijustfeelscared.”

  “oh,es.theresnothingeadayagazihatstheworkofaverybraveperson.”

  hollysled,“ilovethejob.”

  “andthatsgreathanyourjob.”

  hollyfroanbysleepingunderaypechats.

  “iaoloveyourself,leatoloveyoueoretoitthanthat.”

  hollyraisedhereyebro.talkaboutthepotcallileblack.

  “iknonotthegreatestexaleofthat,”henodded.“butieaingtoo...”heplabshoughtabouttosay.“iheardyoudonttogotothisball.”

  hollygedatthefacthehadheardherphoion.

  eriesntainedineveryfloindedofher.”

  “didyougoback”hollyasked,sippiea,feelingitherinsides.

  “afeonthsago,”hesaidsadly.“ityself,thisisaplaesyoufeelit.”

  heleanedforepeopleghlifesearates.theyneverdo.youandidid,forashorterperiodofti.itssad,butitslifesoyougotothisball,holly,andyoueraeoneyoulovedandk.”

  tearstribergerryandbehappyaboutthelovetheysharedandtheloveshestillntiofeel;butnotto,nottoyeaforthenyreyearsthate.shethoughtofthelinehehadeeroureries,butpleasedontbeafraidtokesore.”sheoputtheghostofgerrythathauntedhertorestbuttokeephisryalive.

  thereilllifeforherafterhisdeath.

  fortyfive

  “iosorry,denise,”hollyapologizedtoherfriend.theyofdehereustysllintheairfrohedustthathadlaherailsandrailsoferaattachedtotheandrerdedtheirion.

  hollycheddenisesfaceforareaandsaolethollyknowasok.

  “no,itsnotok.”hollysatforeantoloseteeronthephone.justbeetherighttotakeitoutonyou.”

  deniselookedbraveenoughtofinallyspeak.“no,you,holly...”

  hollyshookherheadandtriedtodisagreebutdeontalking,“ivebeeedaboutthisightbefeeling.”hereyesrestedonherfriend,alltetthatshestillhadghoststoberidof.

  “butyhttobeexcited,”hollyinsisted.

  “andyhttobeupset,”denisesaidfiry.“ididntthink,ijustdidntthink.”sheheldherhandstohercheeksassheshookherhead.“dontgototheballifyoudontfeelfortable.toholdherfriendshands.

  hollyfeltnfused.chrishadsueededinnvinghertogototheball,butnof

  ...

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